I hate my life…
But I love myself.
Life has put me on position that I can’t actually bear…
But myself still convince that I can through all of that.
And the time past..
The day change..
While everything becomes different.
But I still wait and wait even if it never happen…
Still wondering why but don’t know why too.
Maybe I need to stop.
Until it will come by their own.
I hate this situation but I’ve to through.
My world feel empty..
Lose everything and everyone.
They lost without reasons and full of mystery.
I’ve a hope..
But not expectation.
And I hope everything will be back to normal.
They’re shook we are still together,
They expected we are happy forever,
Then they respected when we never cheat each other..
But they wrong !
They doesn’t know when our relationship barely broke,
They doesn’t know my painful heart when you crooked,
They never know because I never showed.
Staying hide the sadness doesn’t meant hypocrite,
But don’t want to make them worried.
Stuck in the darkness night,
Without any stars appear on the sky,
And the moon has been hide behind the clouds.
Mind is still wandering what need to tell to someone…
While heart is still wondering should it be tell or just keep…
I could remember everything but not anything.
Like an empty memories I’d bear…
Seems there is no longer word exist now.
I know you’re happy now with someone’s new.
She did her best to win in your heart since at your first confession.
You didn’t took a long time to know her…
Because you believe she was the best girl in the rest of your life.
And now you are already just to move one step to be forever.
I am happy you meet the right person after me.
Even I’m sad I can’t be with someone I love…
But there is something broke me more inside than you leave…
It was when you seems like doesn’t realized my existence in your life.
You can forget all of memory about us and even me but please don’t trash me like I never did the same she was..
Yes ! She more beautiful, polite and caring than me…
But are you forget that am I who support you whenever you are ?
I never care about expectation people on me when I was with you !
But now, I’m nothing to you even friend ?.!
I went to the place that we have been together there.
And I look all around the place…
Yet, I still remember each part of memory there.
When we met after last minute planning.
When we had enjoy it with full of dramas.
When we start knowing each other well.
When we met a new friends from another school.
And we taking a picture together to still remember the memories forever.
Before leaving we wish that we are be able to meet again soon.
But the times still wont give a chance…
And I’m so grateful even we can’t meet again asap but we had done make a memories together.
Now, the memory of us still not fade and never can’t be fade !
I’d planned everything since we met,
I know what will happen to us one day,
I can feel it…
And still counting a day when the times will heal…
Now I’m shook…
It was really occur but not in my expectation.
It happen when I’m gonna try to stay away from you…
When I’m being exhausted for advising you every time…
They find me not in a right time…
Really don’t know what to explain.
And is it all my fault ?
I never beg you to stay,
I never force you anything,
But they seems like think that I’m triggered all…
And in the same times they hope on me to change you.
I’m stuck in the two different conditions.
You ruin everything but only me need to bear it alone..
But don’t worry what will happen to me, as long as you can make your parents proud of your new changers.
I love night.
It hide myself in the dark of sky.
So that nobody could see me.
And when I walk in a dark street.
I hope there is someone beside to accompany.
To protect me all the way I go.
Then need to stop in the park and sit on the bench.
Just want to hear all of my story and problems.
To stop my eyes from tears.
To give a hug while whisper that I can through all the day.
And I am wonder…
Who’s that person ?
We said we a friend through a speak,
But the heart lie about what we feel.
We said we would never leave each other…
But when we get jealous we said we need to stay away but then we coax like a couple.
The things I’m scared to through is losing you when we have a special relationship.
But you still keep your promise that we still together even when we are not getting married by each other.
A prayer make our friendship stay even sometimes it has going to broke
Every ‘Hye’ always end with a ‘Goodbye’…
But I hope it will never happen except a death.